Self Esteem

Self-love, self-respect, self-worth. There is a reason they all start with “self”. You cannot find them in anyone else.

-?

I found this quote a few weeks ago, and I liked it so much I had to share it. I would’ve added self-esteem in there, but then I looked up the meaning and all of these “self” words fall under that definition. So basically, self-love, self-respect, and self-worth are the sum of self esteem.

Why is self-esteem so important? I once heard it compared to your skeletal frame. Without it we would be a blob on the floor. Having muscles would be useless unless we have bones they’re attached to. Self esteem helps us to prop ourselves up. Much like our bones keep the frame of our body up. It helps us to know ourselves; our likes and dislikes, and where we stand when it comes to our beliefs. When we’re insecure and don’t like ourselves, it is so easy to look to others to tell us what to like and dislike, and what to believe and not believe. We do this without question and with the fear of their disapproval.

When you have a healthy love for yourself good self esteem follows. You don’t dread making decisions. You’re not afraid of asking questions or making mistakes. You know your limitations and you’re not afraid to ask for help. When discipline is needed and given; you don’t let it bring you down. You allow it to help you improve yourself. You take responsibility for your actions and don’t blame others. You don’t set high expectations on people, but are realistic. Instead of criticizing others you encourage them. You never stop growing and maturing emotionally. You set healthy boundaries that protect you and respect the boundaries of others. Overall good self esteem makes you an enjoyable person to be around. You ooze positivity that makes others feel good.

So what’s the opposite? People with low self esteem are very negative. They use criticism and sarcasm to feel better about themselves. They dread making decisions and asking for help. They don’t benefit from discipline because they lay the blame somewhere else, instead of taking responsibility for their actions. They dislike making mistakes so they often don’t try new things. They’re emotionally immature (you’re the one with the problem, not them, so why do they need to change?). They have no boundaries, and they don’t respect other peoples’ boundaries either. This kind of person zaps your energy and may leave you feeling negative too if you’re not emotionally strong.

Personally speaking (my humble opinion), I think that the building block to a healthy self-esteem is honesty. Being honest with yourself. There’s a lot of denial going on with low self-esteem. The rest will follow, but never try fooling or lying to yourself. The mental turmoil will only contribute to the problem. When you’re at peace with who you are, not how you stack up against someone else, you can begin building yourself up. Let’s connect one bone at a time until finally we can stand up straight, without feeling ashamed of who we are; and help others do the same. ; )

Love you guys

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