I found this article in, The Grand Rapids Press newspaper, written by Barton Goldsmith. Like I mentioned in my last post, I initially found it motivating. These ideas may be easier to apply if you’re not dealing with depression, but find yourself in a rut.
1.“You are either green and growing or ripe and rotting. If you have thought that life is passing you by, there’s some truth in it. Find something you are passionate about learning or doing, and get to it.”
At my lowest point I had no motivation. I was in survival mode. I’d do the things that had to get done and no more (sometimes I wouldn’t get that far either). When you walked in my house you could tell this was the case because there was no longer a sense of organization. This advice sounded wonderful but I didn’t know where to find that passion within me to get me going.
2.“When someone important to you asks you to change, don’t take your loved one’s request lightly. Other people can see you differently than you see yourself. When a person who cares gives you some gentle direction, it’s a gift.”
I didn’t feel like I had anything to change in myself! Sure, I was open to improving my good qualities, but I didn’t feel like there were major character flaws within me. Sound like someone in deep denial?! You bet I was! Add to that a Dr., telling me that my depression was due to a chemical imbalance. The mood swings, irritability, bursts of anger, bouts of crying, and sleeplessness, were all due to my brain not receiving this essential chemical in adequate amounts. I just needed pills to make me better. I didn’t have to work at changing anything in me because medication was going to fix that chemical imbalance and make everything okay!
I’m not against medication. There are people out there who do have this problem, and meds help them function. In my case though, it wasn’t an imbalance in chemicals, it was an imbalance of how I viewed myself! My husband tried patiently to help me see this, but I wasn’t ready. The scales had to fall off my eyes! Literally, it seemed! I was definitely ripe and rotting. Within myself, depression has proved to be a thought disease. A manifestation of self hate. That’s something no pill can fix. Now I realize how important loving myself is. It tells those I love, that they matter enough for me to take care of myself.
They deserve a better version of me, and so do I. ; )